Anointed For Joy

I remember a period when it seemed to be common for me to hear christians saying: “You can’t trust a depressed christian.” It must have been with the crowd that I was with. This fit with the idea that the more enlightened a christian is, the more happy they will be. If you truly understood how much God loved you, then you won’t struggle with unpleasant feelings or emotions. So the logic follows; the happier you are, the more spiritually advanced you are.

The lie. Good christians are happy christians.

This doesn’t measure up to scripture and sound theology, nor does it measure up to the research from mental health expects.

You simply cannot be happy all the time.

For people who know the DISC* behavioural assessment, I score high as a CSI. ‘I’ is the positive, joy focused, want to be merry and have fun type. (I tend to suppress the ‘I’ outwardly when I am unsure about people and still trying to figure out if they are trustworthy) The problem is, I don’t always feel merry and bright. Sometimes I can have intensely dark and unpleasant emotions. I usually feel guilty and embarrassed that I don’t feel happy all the time. The way I think I am supposed to. The way a “good” christian is supposed to. The way a “strong” person is supposed to. When I hear people say daft things like “you can’t trust a depressed christian”, it has a sting to it. It is a shaming statement. Comments like this don’t really help. If you make comments like this, it actually makes you come across as an unsafe person to reach out to.

Mike King of I Am Hope reminds people that if you want to know the symptoms to look out for in depressed people, there are not always outward symptoms. The best thing you can do is to be someone that people feel safe reaching out to.

(I am going to give most people the benefit of the doubt and decide that these people are simply people who have a habit of blurting things without thinking through the implications of what they are saying. And not that they are intentionally trying to shame people into performance in order to avoid facing their own uncomfortable feelings.)

I am conscious of the fact that most of what I write isn’t very breezy. Some of it could be considered a little confrontational and pot stirring. Although I feel self-conscious about it, I won’t apologise. I won’t apologise for being me. I have spent far too many years holding back due to the fear that my intensity might cause people to reject me.

What if the problem isn’t that I am not always joyful? What if the problem is around the unwritten rules of expressing joy? What does it look like to express joy? Are there different kinds of joy? What is true joy?

I have been contemplating on these kinds of questions as I have been reflecting on many of the traditions of charismatic/evangelical Christianity.

We are bombarded with the idea that happiness is supposed to be life’s main goal. What if we are not even supposed to be fixated on this pursuit of joy? (or a particular expression of joy) What would it look like to instead pursue meaning and purpose?

I have heard people quote scripture saying that Jesus was anointed with joy above his companions. They interpret that to mean that he was happy, so if you are a follower of Jesus, you should be happier than your friends who don’t follow Jesus. So get happy.

But what does that passage actually say?

People are quoting from Hebrews 1:9 where the writer is speaking about Jesus by quoting Psalm 45. In Psalm 45 the writer is commending the king for his honesty, humility and righteousness. And because he has chosen to be a king who is good, God will bless him.

You love righteousness and hate wickedness;

Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You

With the oil of gladness more than Your companions. Psalm 45:7

The oil of gladness in this verse is a promise of blessing to those who lead with integrity and honour, choosing to set the wrong things right. It is not saying “hey if you are christian, you should be happy all the time.”

Yes, knowing your life has purpose and meaning, ought to give one a sense of contentment and delight.

But it’s not a competition.

Being a Christ follower is not about trying to prove that someone should believe what you believe because, hey look how happy you are. Too many christians are trying to turn their lives into a sales pitch. If you sign up today you too could be blessed with happiness, a successful marriage, career, a healthy bank account, the house with a white picket fence. Oh and by the way, you could have a personal relationship with God. These other things though. Look what you could have!

Is that what we are doing? Using false promises to sell our product and make our commission?

Let me break it down. Being a follower of Christ does not mean that you automatically get a golden ticket to a wonderfully perfect life where all your dreams come true. There are times when things don’t go the way you had hoped. It is not always easy. There are times when it can get really difficult. You could be the most remarkable christian and still; your marriage could fall apart, you could lose your job or business, you could go broke, your house could burn down. Claiming that christians ought to be happy all the time is placing an unnecessary burden on people. In certain streams of Christianity there is pressure to express joy a certain way. It may not be your natural personality to be loudly expressive with your joy, but you should do it anyway. Is what I was told on repeat. Because Jesus was wildly passionately expressive in his joy, so I ought to be like that too. Well it’s not part of my natural personality to be confrontational, and yet here we are. Just like Jesus.

If joy is based on circumstances, it won’t go the distance. If it is based on pretending, it will be fragile. If it is based on ignoring the suffering of others, goodbye to the oil of gladness.

What does it look to experience joy in the midst of hardship and disappointment?

I have read that gratitude is the path to joy, or something to that effect. Cultivating gratitude and thankfulness can help us to create contentment in our lives. Even in the midst of our darkest times, we can find respite to the knowledge that there is something we can be thankful for. Scripture authors encourage readers to be thankful, even in their times of trouble - mainly in their times of trouble. The ancients knew about the benefits of cultivating gratitude.

I have heard it said that comparison is the thief of joy. Perhaps it isn’t healthy to compare our experience of joy with someone else’s. Social media is a breeding ground for comparison and competition. It’s not a competition to see who can be the happiest. In measuring our happiness against others, we rob ourselves of joy.

After all these years, I have decided that joy doesn’t have to look a certain way. Just because I don’t express my joy the way someone else does, doesn't make me any less joyful or spiritual. I am tiring of spiritual comparisons.

For me personally, I am going to commit to this year cultivating more gratitude and less comparison.

I can choose to follow the prescribed list for the ‘correct way to express Christian joy’ or not. Or I could strip it back to the simplicity of finding my own way to joy. I have the freedom to choose. And I guess there is a certain joy in that.

* The DISC behavioural assessment is generally used as a tool to help to understand the behaviours and communication styles of individuals in team environments. Dominance types tend to be take charge, straight shooters, get it done, and seemingly confrontational. Influence types tend to be positive, present new ideas, fun loving, freedom loving, excitable. Stability types tend to be easy going, service orientated, conflict avoidant. Conscientious types tend to be analytical, being accurate and correct in word and deed. Most people tend to be a combination of all four, yet exhibiting more characteristics of one or two of the types.